Host or Co-Host shares screen.
Lead Reads Aloud
Lead shares First name and the fellowship they belong to, for example SA/SLAA/COSA
COSA HIR Meeting Script
Welcome to the COSA Zoom Room Healthy Intimate Relationships (HIR) Meeting.
My name is______ . I’m a _________and the lead for this meeting.
HIR is a blended meeting where both COSAs and Sex Addicts are welcome to participate fully, with or without partners.
This meeting uses the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of COSA to help us develop a greater capacity for empathy and emotional intimacy.
We ask that you respect the Confidentiality and Anonymity of everyone present.
To keep the room safe, and our meeting healthy, we:
Stay attentive, avoid cell phone use/texting and minimize distracting movements such as eating, etc.
Mute our microphone at all times unless sharing.
Keep our video on. If we must step away or temporarily stop our video, we address ‘Everyone’ in the chat.
Dress and behave as though in a face to face meeting. We respect that our attire and positioning not be triggering to others.
Refrain from discussing details about acting out behaviors, places, or people. We instead focus on how we feel.
Volunteer reads aloud
May I have a volunteer or couple to read the Long version of the Serenity Prayer?
The Long Version of the Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Patience for the things that take time,
Appreciation for all that I have,
And tolerance for those with different struggles.
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of my past ways,
The ability to feel your love for me and our love for each other,
And the strength to get up and try again even when I feel it is hopeless.
Lead Reads Aloud
Would someone please read the Welcome?
The COSA Welcome
“We welcome you to the COSA fellowship and extend to you our support and friendship.
COSA is a Twelve Step recovery program for spiritual development, no matter what our religious or philosophical beliefs.
Through working the Twelve Steps, we seek to achieve serenity, one day at a time.
COSA offers hope, whether or not there is a sexually addicted person currently in our lives.
In COSA, we begin to experience relief from our isolation in the safety of an anonymous gathering with others who share our stories.
Everything that is said in the group meetings and between members must be held in confidence.
This promotes open and honest sharing of our experience, strength, and hope, creating a trust level that many of us have never before experienced.
By working the Twelve Steps in COSA, we gain a new perspective on ourselves and our lives.
The loving interchange of help among members and daily use of program tools make us ready to receive the priceless gifts of serenity and freedom.“
Lead chooses to have participants read Steps “Popcorn Style” (2-3 Steps each volunteer) or, one participant read all 12 Steps
Would someone be willing to read the Steps?
Let’s read the Steps ‘popcorn’ style. I will begin:
12 Step of COSA
1. We admitted we were powerless over compulsive sexual behavior — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.
Would someone please read the Gifts of the Program?
The Gifts of COSA
With the twelve suggested steps of recovery, and the wisdom, experience, and support of the COSA group, we discover the faith and acceptance to let go of the situations we were once desperate to control, and the courage and strength to grow in matters we once avoided or denied.
Gradually, the gifts multiply. As our awareness increases, so does our personal power and self-esteem. In our relationships, we learn detachment and become more fully present. In continued recovery, we live our lives in deeper joy, serenity and fulfillment, one day at a time.
Lead Reads and demonstrates the “Applause” sign.
The lead may use the ‘Participants’ list to assure that no person will be left out of the introduction process.
Host/Co-Host stops screen share for Introductions
After introductions, Host/Co-Host Returns to screen sharing script
This is for reference, not to be read aloud.
In a face to face meeting it is appropriate to thank each speaker after their share. In the zoom room, we borrow the applause sign from American Sign Language as an alternate way of expressing our gratitude.
It’s now time for introductions. If this is your first or second COSA meeting, please let us know so that we can welcome you.
“Hi, my name is _________ and I’m a grateful recovering _________.” I will call out each participant by name so you may introduce yourself as I have.
Lead skips to the Week and Format and reads aloud.
****Host/Co-Host will stop screen sharing when the topic is read and shared by the presenter.
This meeting has a format that changes from week to week:
1st week of the month: Step study
2nd week of the month: Reader Share
3rd week of the month: Question and Response
4th week of the month: Topic Meeting – followed by Business Meeting during final 10 minutes
5th week of the month (when it occurs): Speaker Share
Since this is the ____ week of the month, today’s meeting format is ______.
1st week of the Month:
Step Study Format:
Our reader _______ will read from Conference-Approved literature of COSA, AA, Al-Anon, or another S-related fellowship to which (s)he belongs, on Step ______ for approximately 10 minutes, and then have the option to share for approximately three minutes on how this month’s Step applies to healthy intimate relationships.
2nd week of the month:
Reader Share Format
Our reader _______ will read up to five minutes from Conference-Approved literature then have the option to share up to three minutes on the topic of healthy intimate relationships. Then the floor will open up to everyone to share on the reading. It is appropriate to refer to the reading in our own shares.
3rd week of the Month:
Question and Response Format
Today’s format is question and response on the topic of healthy intimate relationships in the context of recovery. Anyone can pose a question. Once a question has been posed, up to three people can volunteer a response. We do not give advice in our responses but rather speak in ‘I’ terms from our own Experience, Strength & Hope. Opinions expressed are those of the speaker only. Take what you like and leave the rest.
4th week of the Month:
Topic Meeting Format
Our volunteer _______ has chosen 1-3 recovery-related topics for group discussion, then the meeting will be open to anyone who wishes to share on those topics. We will close the meeting 10 minutes early to allow time for our business meeting.
5th week of the Month (when it occurs):
Speaker Share Format:
Today’s meeting format is speaker-discussion. Our speaker _______ will share his/her ESH for 15-20 minutes on the topic of healthy intimate relationships in recovery.
At the conclusion of the presentation, Host/Co-Host screen shares script.
Lead Reads Aloud
Lead stays aware of time, and reads when appropriate: Ten minutes before end of meeting when there are newcomers present
If no newcomer wants to share
Lead stays aware of time, and reads when appropriate: Five minutes before the end of the meeting.
Lead reads if it is the 4th week.
Lead Reads Aloud
This is for reference only.
Now is time for the open sharing portion of our meeting.
To keep the meeting safe, we do not discuss acting out behaviors, people, or places. We do not cross talk, which means we do not interrupt or make direct comments about another person’s share in our own shares, including asking questions, offering advice or appraisal, or using another person’s name in our own shares.
Instead, we focus on our own journey and how we feel. Please share your own experience in “I” terms. However, it is appropriate to refer to the reading or the speaker’s share if they agree to accept feedback.
Please keep your shares to _____ minutes. Would someone be willing to be our timer, please?
Now is the time we set aside for people new to this meeting to share if they haven’t done so already.
We have time for one or two more shares.
Sharing is complete:
That is all the time we have for sharing. If you didn’t get a chance to speak, please share with someone after the meeting. Are there any COSA-related announcements?
Our Business Meeting immediately follows this meeting on the 4th week of each month. Everyone is welcome to attend. If you have an item for the business meeting, please let us know.
Lead Reads Aloud
Lead Reads Aloud
Lead reads and may thank other members for their service during this meeting