COSA Meeting Format

Here in the COSA Zoom Room (CZR) members are able to attend a 12 Step Meeting in the privacy of their own homes.

Each of our Zoom Rooms are password protected to ensure the anonymity and safety of our members.

Please email the COSA Zoom room at prior to attending your first meeting. Tell us a bit about yourself and why you feel COSA is right for you.

COSA Diversity Statement

  • COSA Diversity is consistent with the Third Tradition of COSA, which states that the only requirement for COSA membership is that our lives have been affected by compulsive sexual behavior.
  • The COSA Fellowship welcomes all genders, all varieties of relationship to the addict, all religious and spiritual preferences, all employment statuses, all marital statuses, all ethnicities, cultures, and languages. COSA does not discriminate on the basis of class, financial status, sexual orientation or gender identification, physical or mental challenges, race, or national origins.
  • In COSA, we find hope whether or not there is a sexually addicted person currently in our lives.
  • COSA Diversity is consistent with the First Tradition of COSA, which states that our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon COSA unity.

Please note all meetings in the COSA Zoom Room are closed to COSAs only, which means we do not allow information gathering or training of any kind by therapists, students, educators, medical professionals or others. Thank you for respecting our safety.

Several Types of COSA Meetings are available:

Topic Meetings:

Topic meetings are available daily at various times (see meeting schedule). A topic is chosen from COSA approved literature and presented at the meeting – all materials are supplied to you. Participants are then invited to share their ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) with others in the group. Topic meetings are appropriate for newcomers.

Sexual Anorexia-Avoidance Meeting:

This meeting is open to those who have been affected by compulsive sexual behavior, focusing on the pain, anger, shame, and experiences of COSAs dealing with another’s sexual anorexia or the compulsive avoidance of sexual intimacy. This meeting is open to newcomers.

Sponsorship Meeting:

This meeting format provides an opportunity for COSAs who need a sponsor and COSAs who are willing to sponsor to meet and learn more about sponsorship. Please attend at least 6 meetings in a row to discern if COSA is right for you before getting a sponsor.


HIR (Healthy Intimate Relationship) Meeting:

HIR meetings are intended for those members in recovery. HIR (or Healthy Intimate Relationships) is a style of blended meeting in which both COSAs and sex addicts are welcome to participate fully, with or without partners. This meeting uses the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of COSA to help us develop a greater capacity for empathy and emotional intimacy in our primary love relationships. Please note that this meeting is in a zoom room with a different number and password. To receive the information, contact for access to the meeting.

Support Meeting:

The COSA Zoom Room is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for all COSA members to use. Regularly-scheduled meetings have priority use.


Step Study Meeting:

These meetings are intended to create a group that will work the 12 Steps together over a period of time. It is helpful for those who are seeking a co-sponsor or do not currently have a sponsor to work the Twelve Steps.

To keep all of our Meetings safe we recommend that

“Guidelines for Safe Communications” are followed:

  • We respect others and ourselves in the group by using the safety guidelines.
  • We use “I” or “we” statements. We avoid blaming and shaming, button pushing, case building and the taking or sharing of another person’s inventory*.
  • We practice active listening, especially when in meetings.
  • We respectfully allow others to have the floor. We do not interrupt others.
  • We remain present when others are addressing the group.
  • We end meetings on time to allow people to attend to their personal needs.
  • We agree that one person at a time has the floor.
  • We wait until the speaker is finished, before raising our hands or if by phone, asking to be recognized by the Leader to  speak.
  • We ask for clarity and use mirror feedback if we are uncertain about what the speaker is saying.
  • We avoid triangulating with others by practicing direct communication.
  • We say what we mean, mean what we say, and we do not say it meanly. When we say how we feel, what we think, and what we like or dislike, we use care and concern for the relationships within our group.
  • We accept that we will have disagreements.
  • We accept that there are many right answers.
  • We speak in polite voices. We do not use yelling, intimidation, or sarcasm.
  • We agree to keep our language clean.
  • We table issues when emotions run high, for a period, beginning with 15 minutes, or until the next meeting.
  • We commit to return to discussion of tabled issues at a specific mutually acceptable time.
  • We own our responsibility for our own feelings and triggers. We contain ourselves.
  • We agree that all of us are equally responsible for the relationships within the group. (See Traditions: 2 – For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. 4 – Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or COSA as a whole.)
  • We agree to show up, speak our truths, and then, turn over the outcomes to our HP as expressed in our Group Conscience.
  • *Taking inventory = honesty about only your own defects of character; acceptance that “the problem” is within yourself without blaming others.