Those of us who have come to COSA have found that we share a common thread. Although our stories may be as varied as the colors of the rainbow, each of us have been impacted by another person’s compulsive sexual behavior. The relief we feel as we learn we are not alone allows us to open to the truth.

Although we may have been brought to our first meeting because of another person’s acting out behaviors, we, too, are in the clutches of a dangerous illness.

We may have been too broken, despairing, and lacking in the self-confidence we once possessed to continue to cope with our own lives as they were. We come to find that although we may be capable, dependable, courageous people, we cannot control the impact of the illness of sexual addiction on our lives. We turn our attention away from the sex addict and detach from the emotional turmoil that sexual addiction can bring, turning instead to the proven, workable method by which we can arrest our own illness.

As the kaleidoscope of our personal stories attests, working the Twelve Steps is just as important for us as it is for the sex addict. To remedy our own emotional, physical and spiritual illness, the COSA program offers suggestions, but keep in mind that the basis of our program is spiritual, as evidenced by the Twelve Steps.

As a result of practicing the Steps, the fog that once shrouded our lives begins to lift, and the symptoms of our own dysfunction are removed on a daily basis. The Twelve Steps aid us in our process of surrendering to something greater than ourselves, and we find that the more total our surrender, the more fully realized our freedom from the coping behaviors we learned to use.